im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
