I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
