Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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