i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
