By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
