go do what you do best...puke behind churches
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize