I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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