I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
