Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
