What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
