Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
In America we eat man semen.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
