I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
