OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
