i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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