i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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