Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
