miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize