didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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