Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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