i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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