this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
