there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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