She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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