I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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