I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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