just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
