Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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