This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
