Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize