I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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