all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
