My brain says no but my pants say off.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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