bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize