I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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