Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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