i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize