It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
