Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
