it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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