is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
