He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize