Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
