I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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