quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
