is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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