He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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