tell your sister to shave her snatch
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
