I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
