no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
