Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
