i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
