Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
