I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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