It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize