Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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