Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
