i just wanna soil my oats bro
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
