If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
