I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
