we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
