Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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