honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
