Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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