Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
