Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
