my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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