Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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