I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize