Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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