He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
