i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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