from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
