I love how my cats smell like pot.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My penis needs a shock collar
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize