I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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