I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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