I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
cat food counts as protein by the way
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
