either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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