I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
