i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
